One thing about many bodybuilders that led them to becoming so large, was something they were missing on the inside that they tried to improve by fixing the outside. There are plenty of very large individuals who despite having all of that muscle, deep down are still little lambs. Building more and more muscle will get you half the respect you could get if you carried yourself better.
I was probably a little guilty of this myself in the past. I would constantly second guess myself and couldn't stop being redundant. For example, if I wanted to tell someone “no” not only would I tell them no, I'd follow it up with a small conversation as to why I said no. This makes someone look like they lack self-confidence and are unsure of any decision they make.
Don't think people can't see through this type of shit, they will easily pass you off as having weak character traits and they'll stop taking you seriously. You will be nothing more than the big and muscular circus guy who is there for their amusement. Develop a character that goes hand in hand with the physique. A good build can say a lot about a man, but only if his character follows suit.
I work in a job that is full of alpha dogs. Everybody is constantly trying to one up someone or quickly establish themselves as a pack leader. They are quick to knock someone down. They'll fuck with them about broken relationships with their woman who just cheated on them… and for God sakes don't be short, tall, fat, have a gap in your teeth, big ears, etc., because you'll get fucked with.
Coming back at them pissed off means they've won, that was the reaction they wanted. But you can't ignore them either. Remember when your mother would tell you as a child “just ignore them and they will stop?” Yeah, well maybe in a fairy tale that works, but in real life it doesn't.
I had a couple guys I work with joke around about my wife a few times, talking about how I shouldn't be surprised if I came home and saw their truck in the driveway. How did I handle it? Simple, I asked one of them to go grab a coffee with me across the street. Just he and myself, not with anyone else around. As we were walking down the street I put my arm around his shoulder like “Hey Bud” only it was much harder. The type of grip that tells someone not to fuck with you.
I said to him in a nice, calm voice, “How about we don't talk about my wife anymore, you got it?” Immediately his guard went down, he apologized, and he knew right then and there I meant fucking business. Now had I done this in front of everyone, it wouldn't have been taken seriously, and I would have been passed off as some roid head who was pissed off. Difference is, it takes more balls to do it the way I did it. It's more personal.
The point is that having a strong character takes practice. Like trying to grow in the gym and traveling outside of your comfort zone, you need to in life as well. The thing about it is you're going to think you sound like more of an asshole than you really do. What you think is being an asshole someone else is going to take as a leadership trait and confidence. There is no reason to tell someone excuse after excuse of why you are making a decision. Just make a decision and shut up about it. You will immediately gain new respect by carrying yourself this way. I hadn't always done this, I'll admit it.
Allow me to continue here. As shocking as this may sound, nobody gives a fuck you bodybuild, You're nobody special because you lift weights. Yeah, you and a million others right? Your goal with bodybuilding should be to look in the mirror and like what you see. As long as you're happy with it, fuck everyone else. You're doing this for you, not girls, not to win fights, not to scare anyone… you!
Don't degrade yourself
NEVER EVER, degrade yourself to show humbleness. I used to do this. People would actually hand me a compliment and I would say something like, “Yeah thanks, but if I could get my waist down more I'd be alright.” Nah man, fuck that! Be proud of everything you are doing, don't belittle yourself to try and find common ground with some asshole. Despite what you may think, nobody is equal. If you're on top then God damnit stay there. Don't come down to someone's level so they feel adequate with you.
Be the example they need to climb to your level! And if they choose not to then fuck em'! Many will walk away shaking their heads saying things like “Mr. Perfect thinks he's better than everyone, to hell with him.” It's jealousy my friends, there is a trait about you they don't have and they wish they did, and rather than going out to get it themselves it's easier to talk smack.
Try to grow in other areas outside of bodybuilding. This could be something as simple as reading a new book every couple weeks, learning a new skill or trade, or going out of your way to help someone every day. Even something as small as paying someone a compliment goes a long ways. When you start growing outside of just the gym, life will feel much more complete. And people will start taking you a little more seriously. Do not constantly try to grow on the outside to fix what you're missing on the inside.
What a lot of morons don't realize is that you cannot possibly be a stupid person to get your body to a certain level of development. Somewhere along the way you've learned a lot of information that most people don't know about, so you're in no way a dumb person. But, like many bodybuilders do, you focus so much on your craft that 100% of everything you have goes into it. The problem with this is you start lacking in other areas that will truly enhance your life, outside of just being big and strong. But you're very smart, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
So if there is any area of your life you'd like to improve, focus on that along with the gym. If something is bothering you like a thorn in your side each day, it's your subconscious saying “Hey stupid, wake up!” It's in our nature to always strive for more, you're doing it with the gym, so why in the hell couldn't you do it with anything else in life?
This is your life, now go out and fucking get it!
17 thoughts on “So You’ve Developed Your Body, but What About Your Character?”
Hey man,watch the short film dennis (Kim Kold)
and it shows that deep inside some people are scared little boys and manipulated by other people.
I will check it out, thanks
Nice blog. Stumbled upon it recently and have probably read most of your posts. I was wondering if you could recommend a few books that have really influenced your character development. I used to read often, but have struggled recently since getting hurt and not being able to work. Focus has been shitty, but I feel like I’m coming out the other end with this recent bout of depression. I could use some motivation!
Keep up the good work,
Thanks a bunch Eric, a few you may want to check out are #1- “Bullies, bastards, and bitches” by Jessica Morrell, its a book about defining differences between an anti-hero and a hero. It explains character flaws and traits of each, and exposes positive traits an anti-hero can often posses but just needs to harness. Great book!!
Another one would be “It’s your time” by Joel Osteen. I was never raised in a religious home myself, and for the majority of life would be considered Atheist, but as I started growing older and evaluating my life I became curious about Christianity and trying to lead a better path. I got so sick and tired of making the wrong choices in life, it began to eat me up more and more. It was to the point I said to myself “How can I keep going this way? I hate what I’ve become” This book was good because it didn’t throw it in your face, but made you seriously question what was important in life. I like Joel Osteen, I need to read more of his books.
Another good book to check out would be “Devoted; a story of a fathers love for his son” by Dick Hoyt. If I ever had a hero it’d be Dick Hoyt, here you have this ordinary guy who has so much love for his son that he starts doing marathons and iron man races and basically pushing and dragging his son through all of it, he never quits because he has too much love for this kid to stop. I’m not an emotional guy, but this guys love and enthusiasm really get me. I have a son myself who I love more than anything in the world, so I get it, I understand this guy.
Anyways, thanks for following the blog Eric.
Would you say that you’ve become christian yourself?
To be honest with you I’m in the process of trying to devote myself more to God each day. I was not raised in a church and never even went to church until I was in my mid 20’s. I hadn’t gone on a regular basis before until recently. I’ve done a lot of things that aren’t good, it’s time for a change and each day I try. I’m not perfect by any means, and some of my posts here reflect that. What really attracted me to learning about God and bettering myself was looking at how rotten things in this world have become. I refuse to be a part of it, therefore devoting myself to learning about God is like my way out, my escape from all the evil and corruption
awesome man. I’m 21, unlike you I’ve been raised in a christian family. I have difficulties living the typical christian life but I know for sure that God gives you peace of mind and helps you stay in the right path and become a better you if you want it and actually do something to help yourself. keep it up.
Damn great article John Doe
I worked as a wind technician. Same shit. We all busted each other’s balls for fun, but wives were NEVER mentioned. That is sacred ground! lol
Sometimes the subconscious can be misinterpreted! I’ve noticed this with hustling. A nagging fear of failure can get misinterpreted as “Nah that shit won’t work.” If you want to develop your being, you have to face a fear, no matter how small, everyday. Progress, no matter how slow, will keep the stagnation away and from reading this I know you feel the same way. It’s funny how I just wrote something about this last night.
Keep it up man.
Thank you, and yes you are right Sir. Those who are able to take themselves out of that comfort zone on a regular basis are the ones who prosper. Anything I’ve ever accomplished in my life was by going out of my comfort zone. This was anything from talking to women to promoting at a job, to bodybuilding. When you continually taking on new challenges, you develop new comfort zones that used to feel out of your realm. Face a fear everyday, I like that!!!
Finally started reading your blog today after having it bookmarked for a while.
I am hooked, great discussions, advice and most of all its REAL.
This article had me nodding my head with things I have said or believed to be true, but it also stung a little as points were made that hit home.
I like to be made to think, to grow and to re-evaluate myself.
So, thank you, very motivational
What’s up John Doe, man I’m 27years old and I’m sad to say this but I can’t ever remember a time in my life where I was so hooked on reading something. I’ve been on your blogs for hr reading and you hit home so many times it’s crazy. I been telling myself for months now I wanna start reading on a regular basis and coming across this site is a great start. I definitely wanna show you some support. Do you have any social media platforms I can follow you on?
hello and thanks for following. I have a Twitter and Facebook for the website but they simply update with new articles to let the followers know. I’m not active on them like most ppl are