Eating Out is for The Weak!

If you’re constantly eating out, then you’re a stupid son of a bitch! I will pull no punches in this article, fair warning.

Do you know where you can go to eat healthy if you need to eat out all the time? FUCKING NOWHERE! That’s where you can go, NOWHERE!

Okay, maybe there are some shit-ass places that can serve as “damage control” on your diet, but I’m telling you right now that unless you want to spend $50 every time you eat out then you’re going to fall short someplace!

Take your thin sliced deli meat, your whopping 2 oz of diced chicken per serving, and your useless iceberg lettuce and GO FUCK YOURSELF! Oh wow, some shitty cubes of chicken that couldn’t be more than 2 oz with your meal, yea that’ll get you there!

Day in and day out people look in the mirror and they don’t like what they see, but for some reason they cannot stop eating out! It’s like prep work isn’t even an option anymore. They want their cake, they want to eat it, and have some fucking ice cream on top of it! You see, building your body just doesn’t work that way.

Go ahead, follow the fat fucks into that daily lunch chain shit hole and eat like them, see how far you get! I don’t give a damn if you go to the gym or not, you keep eating like that and you’re only fooling yourself.

Oh, what’s that you say? You eat the healthy options at these places huh? NO, YOU DON’T! Stop lying to yourself when you eat this shit. Some of these salads dowsed in bacon bits and dressing are almost just as bad for you as the damn Whopper and fries are!

Sure, go take your fat ass to Arby’s and get that roast turkey, ranch, and bacon sandwich… it’s about 900 calories fatty! Why not just get the beef and cheddar for that matter? Who the fuck still eats at Arby’s anyways? Their parking lot is always empty as fuck and I don’t even know how they stay in business. Oh wait, that’s right, they tear people new assholes at the cash register, that’s how!

Now, would that same sandwich be a bad choice for someone trying to get their calories up and gain size? NOPE. EAT UP!

But I’m not talking about that kind of person here, I’m talking to the weak pussies that constantly have to eat out because they’re too lazy to prep food! The type to always point their finger at everything that gives them a busy life and talk about how busy their fat ass always is, as if that somehow grants them permission to be slack as shit when it comes to acquiring a good physique!

If you talk about food prep, then the conversation immediately diverts to their busy life and money. It’s almost as if their fat ass is trying to look down at you because you prepare your meals.

Sure, a fat wallet can buy you pussy, but just know that those bitches really aren’t INTO YOU! They don’t think about you when you’re not there, and you don’t drive them crazy in the bedroom. No, you know who they think about instead? The guy with high testosterone and abs who doesn’t eat bullshit!

Subway? Subway sandwiches you might ask.

FUCK SUBWAY SANDWICHES! FUCK THAT KIDDIE MOLESTER JARED FOGLE AND THE HORSE HE RODE IN ON!

SUBWAY SANDWICHES ARE FOR THE WEAK!

A bunch of goddamn sodium, little in the way of protein, and some shit bread that masks the fact that there is even deli meat in that fucker to begin with. You can get as much bullshit as you want on your sandwich, as long as it’s not the meat! The bullshit doesn’t cost them anything, and they want you to load it up with veggies, so your dumb ass forgets that there isn’t any meat in there and you don’t get upset!

“Do you want to make it a combo? Do you want those 2 cookies the size of your nuts that will only piss you off and make you hungrier? or would you rather have this bag full of air with about 4 potato chips at the bottom? No problem, that’ll be $18.95 Sir!” 

Fuck off, I don’t want any of it! Not only am I falling short on quality carbs and protein, but where’s the fucking value here? It’s a rip-off!

You see, it’s not even just the food that sucks dick anymore, there’s just no value there! I plan a meal where I eat out about once a week lately, and it’s usually at this old, country restaurant out in the middle of nowhere.

The people that are in there are friendly. They actually treat you like you were family. There is a guy there that is a bus boy who is mentally slow, but he’s a really genuine guy and he works hard. One weekend he was standing outside with one of the waitresses, and she was trying to coach him on going on some date. I saw her hand him money and talk about going to the movies and what he should say to her.

The following weekend when I went back there, he was talking to a table with a few older ladies sitting there. They asked him how he was doing and he replied, “I am doing very good, you know whaaaaat? I got a guurrrrrlfriend now! You want to see a picture?” And he showed the old ladies a picture he took of the girl.

It really made me feel good to see that. I was genuinely happy for the guy, and I’d rather leave good tips to wholesome people at that place over discourteous assholes at chain restaurants!

I’m guilty of getting hooked on one thing somewhere and ordering that one thing over and over again whenever I go there. At this place, it’s the catfish dinner and French fries. But before that, I get a salad that comes with it, and I get a small bowl of catfish stew.

My wife always gets the scallops, and my son only wants bowl after bowl of their soup, like some fucking bum! When I go to pay, that bill is never over $50 for all of us, and the food is fantastic! But because it’s so reasonable and the service is so good, I almost always leave a very generous tip.

Everyone there from the old lady at the counter who would probably rather be at home, to the slow guy that buses the tables, to the smoking hot waitress who has kids at home but unfortunately has to work on the weekends (I would bang the hell out of that girl!) are very good, wholesome people. I feel good taking my business there, and then getting back to the business of dieting right after it’s said and done!

There is nothing worse than feeling cheated out of a cheat meal! Like I said, the value at most places is complete shit now! Do you know why it’s complete shit value lately? It’s because dumb motherfuckers would rather pay for the convenience than the actual value of the meal itself!

That’s right, you can blame all of these “I’m better than you cause I’m a busy guy, busy body, fat-ass peckerhead” type people for ruining food costs and value. Congratulations people, you just paid $15 for a sandwich that looks like it’s been sat on!

You just paid $15 for some old French fries and a drink to go along with your fucking hammer smashed sandwich!

Oh yea, and in case I haven’t mentioned it yet…

YOUR PHYSIQUE MAKES THE LORD ANGRY!

So, you can run around all day picking at 3 crackers here, and 1 pickle there, and plug all this nonsense into your last-ditch effort, fat fuckery phone app, and you’ll see that eating out constantly leaves you more fucked than a stripper thrown in the D-block, pole dancing for inmates!

Now, let’s talk about meal prep services for a minute here. Although very expensive, if your life is truly too busy to prepare your food, then a meal prep service isn’t necessarily a bad idea. I have a friend who used a meal prep service exclusively for every single meal, and he got down to about 6% body fat and the guy is stacked like a motherfucker! I don’t know what the cost of this was, but I know it’s a cost most people could never rationalize!

This person would actually lose money if he took the time to meal prep, and for this rare occasion, then sure, I could understand this. Let’s say you are going through some major life shit, like in the process of building a house, moving, switching jobs, anything major life changing… okay, then I can see the benefit of a prepped meals from a place like Clean Eatz or Trifecta.

It’s better than eating out and even if some of the meals are a little short on calories, at least you’re eating healthy and not going crazy on bullshit like Arby’s and Subway!

But most people don’t fall into that category. Most people that eat out are lazy, and their physique makes the Lord angry!

So, take a good, hard look in the mirror you fat fuck! Do you look the way you do because your life is REALLY THAT HARD that you have to eat out every day? 

Or are you just being a weak little pussy?

Weakness breeds more weakness. Sure, one day it’s fast food and soda because your poor soul has been beaten down at your job, then the next night it’s fast food, soda, and a bottle of liquor. I mean, what’s a bottle of whiskey going to hurt at this point, right? I mean, subconsciously you know your discipline sucks and your life is one big pile of shit anyways, so what’s a bottle of whiskey going to hurt?

Oh… SHIT! I ALMOST FORGOT HERE… your life is incredible right? I mean, drinking and eating out is just part of business after all. It’s okay to do this since you’re out and about and it’s “work related” right?

Yea, I almost forgot. It’s okay for you to have a hangup because it’s business, but that homeless guy over there that is drinking outside is the real scumbag right? But not you, hell nah, you’re “living the life” every night!

Just maybe you’re telling yourself everything is business because you have no personal life and you’re surrounded by other people with the same shitty lifestyle!

People like this are always the most amusing to me, because many just constantly judge everyone else, not realizing that their own lives are such a fucking miserable joke!

There is something to be said for self-control. There is something to be said for going back to those days of canned tuna fish and willpower, those days where you clawed tooth and nail to build muscle!

Those days when nothing came easy, and rarely was anything outside of a hot shower ever really that comfortable.

Those days when you were strong…

Those days when you fought for what you wanted out of life!

Those days when you had goals…

WHEN YOU FELT LIKE A GODDAMN WINNER!

Now, take a look at you. Do you see that person in the mirror?

Do you fucking feel like that person anymore?

QUIT EATING OUT CONSTANTLY! Not only is eating out for weak people with no discipline, but it’s for stupid son of a bitches that don’t realize how bad they’re getting ripped off on shit quality food! See, you have to get that outside world out of your head and forget these society norms now!

Society norms have made for weak men, go on and keep following that and see where it gets you.

Fatter

Weaker

More comfortable

Less of a man

Sometimes, I visualize this giant apocalypse, one where only the strong survive and only the real leaders keep their families afloat. I ask myself if I’m feeling like that guy right now, the guy who could hunt and kill, fight off every scrub and bottom feeder that tried to invade our space and livelihood. Am I that guy right now?

When the wolf is at your door, are you going to turn towards that fat piece of shit alcoholic that wants to take you to McDonalds?

You don’t want to be that guy, do ya?

THEN QUIT EATING OUT!

TRAIN HARD! EAT DISCIPLINED!

-JD