When it comes to finding women there is definitely an advantage of finding an active girl over a sedentary one.
Girls who are active are usually always in better shape, feel better about themselves, partake in other activities outside of just eating and shopping, and honestly have a much better sex drive!
Girls who feel good about themselves tend to feel more confident and outgoing in the bedroom as well.
I always believed in the saying “you have to learn to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else.” If someone doesn't respect themselves enough to put forth effort in their health/appearance then they probably won't put forth effort in a relationship either.
The big question is “how do I meet girls like this?” Well, it's really not that difficult if you know where to look.
For starters, you need to actually frequent places where there are attractive and active females. A bar or club isn't always the answer. You may find a better catch at a park, walking path, gym, or even a grocery store.
Pay attention to what a girl may have in her shopping cart and if it's healthy food then chances are she is into health and fitness!
Now, sometimes a gym is a good place and sometimes it's not, it depends on the girl. Some women do not like to be bothered when they're in the gym but usually it's all about your approach.
The gym is touchy ground because you may find one of these girls who just wants to work out without being bothered.
The way around that is to find some sort of way to break the ice without coming onto them like you're looking for a date. This could be anything from small talk over a machine or a visit to a yoga class.
I've frequently asked girls if I could work in with them on a specific machine.
NOW, KEY HERE IS TO NOT SHOW OFF! If you're muscular then this is even more important….
Use the same weight they're using and then if they say something about the weights, you just reply “honestly, it's not always how much weight you use, it's your form.” This is a perfect ice breaker because it gets her asking questions about the gym and you may be able to help her out or give her a few tips.
I used to like to let them know how difficult something was. “Gosh, you ever have those days where everything just feels heavy?” This totally takes away the tough guy bullshit and it shows you're down to earth.
Here is another tactic to use in the gym, ask her something about her workout. This shows two things:
- You've been paying attention to her but you're not a creep
- She feels needed for advice and worth a damn.
Just talking about yourself will not get you anywhere with most girls. I don't know why guys feel like they have all of this shit to prove before even knowing someone, but it shouldn't be that way past a certain point.
All you need to prove is that you're friendly, you can smile, and speak proper English and carry confidence.
I've come up with a list of 10 tactics to get a fitness girl (or really any girl) and believe me they all work! Actually, it's really just too easy if you follow this guide.
How to Meet Girls in the Gym
#1 – EYE CONTACT IS CRITICAL
Think about this for a minute, do you trust someone who is shifty eyed? What does someone who constantly looks away say to you about their confidence?
You need to lock eyes even if it's just in passing.
Some girls won't make eye contact because they are shy, do not want uninvited conversation, or lack self-confidence. It's okay, part of this is just a numbers game anyways… NEXT!
#2 – YOU ARE CONSTANTLY THROWING YOUR LINE INTO THE WATER
Even if it's with girls you have no interest in, you need to be friendly and remember that you're never too good to talk to anyone.
That middle aged ugly hag that you have no problem talking to and being friendly with in the gym… guess what?
The hot chick who couldn't look at you in passing is staring you down hard because she can see now that you're actually a nice guy.
And guys, you have no reason not to be a nice guy anyways. This isn't some guide on trying to trick women into bed, I'm simply stating what women look at in a potential mate.
But back to throwing your line in the water… everywhere you go you can give off a positive vibe or a negative vibe. Just because your interaction isn't specifically 1 on 1 with a specific person doesn't mean you can't give off positive energy!
Think of “throwing your line in the water” when it comes to talking to ANYONE. For God's sake, I've had grandmothers before who were trying to show me pictures of their 30 year old smoking hot granddaughter and get my phone number to give to her.
Sure, I may not have had any interest in Grandma, but I was friendly enough and kept a positive vibe and upbeat conversation!
Honestly though, I'm really just a nice guy in general and I'll talk to anyone.
“Cindy, I met the nicest young man today at the coffee shop! He was big and muscular and he held the door for me and he even complimented my hairnet! I think you need to go suck his dick sweetie, if I was your age I'd inhale it.”
I'm just joking (maybe) but you get the point. Your line is thrown everywhere, Grandma may not look good but her granddaughter does!
#3 – TALK TO GIRLS THE SAME WAY YOU WOULD TALK TO A FRIEND
This one maybe should have tied for #1 on my list here, but you need to talk to girls just like you would talk to a friend. Don't think of this girl as some huge “yes or no” answer, or as test of acceptance or rejection, just talk to her like you would anybody.
If you can master this then everything else like eye contact and conversation will flow ever so easily! I can literally talk about anything. I can talk about sneakers, workout clothes, hair, cars, fun activities to do, literally anything and everything!
Let me give you an example here; Hot girl in the gym
How average loser approaches her- “Hey, you have a nice body and I've noticed you in here a few times, are you single?” REJECTION!
How JDB approaches her (motioning with his hand for her to remove headphones and listen to him, because he isn't scared of rejection)-
“Hey, where did you get those sneakers at? I never see many people wearing shoes like that, they look pretty cool. Are they fairly comfortable to work out in?”
Then you just sit back and listen for a few minutes… “Yea, I have found that my shoes last me longer here since the snow doesn't ruin them anymore.”
Now she is going to ask you where you're from, then probably mention where she's from, and blah blah blah…the convo just flows!
You see, the topic can really be ANYTHING. It's like a job interview sort of.
When you go in for a job interview it's human nature for the person conducting the interview to care more about how you come across and interact than the actual topic at hand. Yes, you have to know your shit, but after that it's all personality and interaction.
Most women are no different; they could give a fuck over what topic drew the conversation. It's the way the conversation flowed, eye contact, smiling, that is what is important up front.
If you can make them laugh it's even better (however not all will laugh because they're nervous as hell or have zero personality, usually the latter).
#4 – YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE REJECTION
Being rejected is something you actually want. Why would you want to be rejected you may ask? Let me put it to you like this…
It's like stepping up from the minors to the big leagues. You're going to go from playing college football with 200 lb twits to being blindside tackled by a 300 lb defensive tackle!
But after you experience that first really hard hit it's like “okay, now that that's over with… I'm ready for it… I'm good!”
Women are the same way man… you're going to get rejected no matter how good you may look, how nice your smile may be, or how well you spoke to them. 60% of a woman's reaction to your approach actually has nothing to do with you at all, it's all based on how she feels that day. So just know that it's not always you, it may have nothing to do with you at all!
#5 – YOU ARE NOT ALL ABOUT WORKING OUT
I cannot emphasis this one enough! Nobody wants someone who is so one-track minded that they come across as boring or as that stereotypical bodybuilder nobody likes. So my advice is to try to steer the conversation off working out at some point.
I actually do this immediately. I could work in with some girl on a machine and say something along the lines of “Working out is tough after drinking a few IPA beers, haha.”
This might lead into other conversation such as “where did you go?” or something along the lines of “yea I know, I had a couple the other night and…”
Here is also something else to ponder on. Maybe she comes across like SHE IS ALL ABOUT WORKING OUT, but in reality she would love to go have a drink or do something outside of the gym sometime, but she is single and feels that she needs to do all of this to attract a guy.
So you never know really. There is also the chance that she is the female version of a male who is all about working out.
Maybe she has no life and is a very boring person. Just because a girl looks good doesn't mean 2 cents in my book!
There are good looking people everywhere, and some with more personality than others!
#6 – MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT A CHANGE SHE HAS MADE
They will eat this one up, trust me. If she had her hair cut then mention how good it looks.
If she is wearing a necklace she hasn't worn before then say something about it. Look, let me just be brutally honest here, girls want to feel worth a damn! Again, this also shows that you notice her.
If I notice a girl who got her hair cut or some obvious change she has made it's like a green light at the drag strip to take a straight forward approach (even if I don't know her name) and compliment her.
What is she going to say to me? “fuck you for complimenting my hair?” I think not.
Now this step would be more for someone you see on a regular basis such as the gym, but it could also be somewhere like a restaurant you frequent or a store.
#7 – YOU CHOOSE THE DATE
Look, sometimes you just need to cut through the bullshit and close the deal. If you are a realtor you can show all of the houses you want to people, but if you cannot close the deal and finalize the paperwork then you have nothing!
Now, I have found it much easier to close deals when I already have something in mind for a date idea.
I don't ask her because she isn't going to know what the hell to say anyways, and second off I really think women like assertiveness and are sick and tired of guys who cannot make decisions.
So in the back of my mind I'll already have an idea of something fun to do and here is the ticket… I'M GOING TO DO IT ANYWAYS, WITH OR WITHOUT HER (of course I don't say that, but in reality I am going to do it anyways, if not with her then with someone else).
#8- DOUBLE DATES OR TAGGING ALONG IS FOR KIDS, FUCK THAT SHIT!
You want to hang out with her, end of story! You don't give a shit about her lush friend and her boyfriend, you could give a shit about her sorority, you want her!
If she even mentions a date idea of you coming along with “them” then find a reason you cannot and drop the idea of even trying to get to know a girl like that!
Not only is offering you an opportunity to “tag along” insulting as fuck, but it's kiddie bullshit. You want to be a man or a boy? Then don't let some girl talk to you like a boy
#9 – MAKE THE DATE RIGHT THERE!
This one is a little more for the professionals, but I'm going to give you a tactic that not only takes more guts to do, but is more exciting as well. MAKE THE DATE RIGHT THERE!
If you're in the gym and you work in with her on something, ask her what she is doing next? Train with her and talk to her.
It's easier to converse sometimes when you're focusing on another activity at the same time, it takes away some of the nervousness. After the workout ask her if she wants to go get food together.
See #3! You just ask her as if you're a couple friends going to get food, which at this point that is all you should be anyways.
Ultimately your partner should be your best friend anyways, so why not start off like that?
You can make the date anywhere really. Do you know what I did one time? I saw a really attractive girl in the grocery store and I approached her and asked her about dishes I could cook for my mother.
I asked her what sort of things she cooked because I didn't know much about what I should be making.
This beautiful girl walked me all around the grocery store to pick out ingredients, and talking was so easy because as far as she knew I was just trying to cook.
Walking around the grocery store became the first part of our date. I spent 20 minutes talking to this girl and getting to know her.
Then came the total moment of ultimate balls. Here is what I said as we wrapped it all up…
“I'm going to be totally honest with you here, my mother isn't coming over for dinner. I wanted to talk to you and I guess now I have something to cook for us. I already know how to cook actually.”
Lets just say it worked like a champ and that night was very interesting!
#10 – DO NOT BE AFRAID TO GO OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE!
First off, sometimes our perception of ourselves is the most critical and women that you think are out of your league really aren't!
Look at this like working out; if you never went for new gains then how could you expect to grow.
If you want to date quality girls then you need to be a quality guy first. Like minded individuals tend to attract each other.
It's good to be striving for something in life and to have goals so you can actually be appealing in more than just conversation.
I always say to work on yourself harder than anything else.
You should work on yourself harder than just finding a potential mate or a relationship, you should always be striving to better yourself! This is a quality that women find appealing and a go-getter is more attractive than some slouch who is content with average.
If your content with being just average then learn to be content with average women! Going out of your league requires you to go out of your comfort zone in life and work on yourself first!
But you should never be afraid of women, and you should never be afraid to strive for what you really want. Go after the type of woman that you want, not what falls into your lap and is easy!
CRITICAL THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR
Not every girl is in the gym or down at the park trolling for a guy.
There may be a girl in the gym who is in there at the same time as her boyfriend. There may be a girl who just wants to be left alone to work out. It's pretty easy to differentiate between the two if you see them enough.
I don't think the gym is necessarily THE BEST pickup spot, but it's certainly a facility that attracts like minded individuals and single women.
A lot of women in the gym are girls who are back on the single wagon and are working out again. Actually, the same hold true for guys as well.
How many people do you know end up single or divorced and it's ONLY THEN that they start working out again?
Hopefully this guide can help some of you out when it comes to women.
Remember, eye contact is #1 and talk to them just like you would a friend!
Also, not all women are friendly and do not let looks alone cloud your thinking!
But from my experience active women who are fit tend to be easier to get along with when you're an active guy who eats healthy yourself. This holds even more true as we age.
Things such as feeling good about ourselves, not getting sick, and actually being in an upbeat mood and enjoyable to be around are much easier when the person is in shape and not a walking garbage can for toxins and misery!
Pull chicks hard! -JD