Diet Tips From the Underground (Total Body Recomp 2016)

I probably should be asleep right now due to the fact that I'm hitting my cardio tomorrow morning when most will still be sleeping.

And I probably shouldn't be giving away tricks like this, but I know this article is going to help a shitload of you guys out!!

So yes, I'm devoting some of my time to staying awake to help you!!

You see, I don't believe in just showing you training videos and hype. Here at John Doe Bodybuilding, I provide REAL INFO that is going to benefit you and change your body when practiced consistently.

We are in this for a life change right? This isn't just some 1 month bullshit here, this is sustainable dieting that can help you look good until the day you die!!

You are never too old to start bodybuilding!!

The hardest part of any of this is the diet, you may already know that by now. But if you don't know, now you do!!

Working out is easy, but that is just an hour here or there. The diet is constant; it's throughout the days, months, and years.

Sure, we all know that one genetically gifted guy who can eat Taco Bell once a day and look like a freak, but people like this are a rarity.

Most of us have to bust ass to get a good body and it's never easy!! But what if there were ways to make it easier?

Do I have your attention yet?

These are tactics and tips I've learned over the years that have helped me out a good bit.

You know what…I'm going to just shut the fuck up and lay it out now…..

#1) The whipped cream cheat meal

Whipped cream has hardly anything in it. Go look at the carbs and fat count, it's jack shit. It's usually less than 1 gram per serving, and the shit just tastes good.

You can either:

A. utilize this as a cheat meal

or

B. use this as a tool to get your body accustomed to tighter eating without feeling so deprived.

Go get a can of whipped cream and take a few hits of it during the day until you're a couple weeks into the diet and your stomach shrinks. Then ditch it!!

#2) Faster oats

Fuck taking the time to cook this shit, pour out your dry measure into a bowl and run hot water over them, then eat them like cereal. You can eat more oats this way and you can eat them faster when they're not so thick.

If you're a bitch who needs some flavor then use sugar free maple syrup!!

#3) The fastest way to cook protein

6-8 oz of salmon in the microwave for 2 minutes, that's it!!! You can pound that shit and it tastes better than oven baked salmon.

Part of the reason people dislike salmon is they always eat it too done. Try my microwave trick. You're welcome!!!!!

#4) The “Un-diet Diet”

It's suitable for the traveling professional, or just the lazy fuck in general (which yes, is sometimes myself).

Here are two carb sources that are decent if you're out on the go:

1. Wendy's baked potatoes

2. Steamed white rice from an Asian grill (those cartons are pretty big, you'll be able to eat from it probably five times).

Where do you get the meat you may ask? Try to find an upscale grocery store that does regular turkey or roast beef roasts.

I don't mean sandwich meats here that are full of sodium, I mean real turkey or roast beef. You buy a pound of that and you can eat off it twice.

It'll probably cost you the same if not less than fast food!!! You may need to do some hunting for one of these stores, usually upscale stores are more likely to have this.

#5) “Not Your Momma's Breakfast”

Ok, I admit, oatmeal and grits can get boring sometimes.

Try this on for size: stir in apple sauce or cinnamon apple sauce with rice, and BOOM!! Breakfast carbs are done!!

Or you can take a green apple, slice it up, put cinnamon all over it, and microwave it a few minutes. Now you have soft green apples with cinnamon!! Hell, make believe you're at a restaurant, yippie!!

#6) “Apple Pie Oatmeal”

Cook your oatmeal in reduced sugar apple juice (the regular is too strong) instead of water. Pour a little cinnamon in there and BOOM….apple pie oatmeal!!!

#7) “The Egg Yolk Extractor”

Next time you want just egg whites use an empty water bottle as a vacuum to suck up the yolks.

Yep, just pour all your eggs into a large bowl, and put your empty water bottle over the yolks and squeeze.

Watch the magic happen!! You're welcome!!

#8) Chocolate protein oats

This one is easy enough, stir in your protein powder with your oats. That's breakfast right there, simple and easy!!!

9) The egg sandwich

Two pieces of Ezekial brand toast, an egg patty, slice of ham, and low fat cheese.

There is your protein and carbs right there in that sandwich. Eat it with a small serving of cottage cheese to boost protein intake.

#10) Corn Flakes in skim milk

Who says you have to eat protein and carbs together in every single meal?

Where did all these rules come from anyway?

If you have absolutely no other choice for breakfast, then this is better than not eating in my book. When Arnold trained under Reg Park they used to eat a giant bowl of corn flakes every morning before the gym.

Every once in a while it's a good change of pace.

Somehow people seem to think IIFYDM (If It Fits Your Daily Macros) means you can replace good foods with shit, or go out to McDonalds for breakfast or Burger King for lunch!!

How did this garbage ever become so popular? I understand the concept behind it but people are taking this and running with it!!

Somehow IIFYDM has turned into “I can eat a little shit everyday, and not stay as disciplined” but I don't see the IIFYDM crowd looking better than the tried and true crowd who eat clean.

Someone let me know when the fuck that changes, and the marketing garbage becomes real results!!!

I'm old school, through and through.

My diet tips are for convenience, not to replace good food with bullshit!!!

Hard work prevails, nothing worth having ever comes easy…NOTHING!!! But if there are ways to stick to a diet that don't derail you, then here you go!!

Train hard! Diet hard!

– JD

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17 thoughts on “Diet Tips From the Underground (Total Body Recomp 2016)”

  1. #1 just rocked my socks. Spent the last couple of years massing-up (over 60lbs total gained) and now I need to peel back some fat, which I’m struggling to do after choking down food for 24 months. Stopping by the grocery on the way home. #7 is killer, too.

    Reply
  2. Just to add on to your protien and oats tip, I mix mine with oats and yogurt.. No need to heat or add water.. Just mix it all together and you’ll get a pudding!

    Reply
  3. Another great snack is a handful of pickles. That’s right – dill pickle chips. Hardly anything to them at all, but there’s just enough sodium to satisfy the taste buds, and they’re not going to wreck your diet because who can eat a bowl full of pickles anyway?

    Reply
  4. I recently got off a week long water faster (unrelated to bodybuilding, I don’t advise this as a diet strategy. For training discipline, maybe). Since all I could have is water…. hard to use a lot of tricks to dull the hunger. Especially when drinking to much water at once hurts in that state. Want to know my trick? Warm/mildly hot water. BOOM! Hunger subsides. This even worked on day seven for me.

    Reply
    • Awesome tip Tim, although I’ll probably never go more than 5 hrs without food, but will keep in mind for dieting. Wait…I’m dieting now, perfect timing!!

      Reply
  5. I love the oatmeal under hot water trick. I hate when my oats are mushy and overcooked.

    I usually nuke a half cup of oats and mix a heaping scoop of peanut butter in there every morning.

    I also like to add oatmeal into my Greek yogurt. It adds some texture and it’s an easy way to get some extra calories when I’m bulking up.

    Definitely going to try the apple juice/sauce and cinnamon trick! That sounds awesome!

    -Hoz

    Reply
  6. Something I came up with it a long time ago. I had a protein flavor that tasted like Nuttella. I mixed it with a little milk and stirred it untill it became a paste. I tried it as chocolate spread on whole wheat bread, and guess what.

    It tasted AWESOME!!

    Ideal to take it with you to work or school as a sneaky bodybuilding meal. No more need to explain people why you eat what you eat, because it looks like normal people food.

    Greetz from Holland!!

    Reply

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